Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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