can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
