Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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