Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
