and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
