yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
