He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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