at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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