I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
where am i from again
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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