I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
