I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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