...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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