consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
