I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
