We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
