He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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