Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
