Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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