The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
