You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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