im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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