she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
