your room smells of hookers.
And success
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
