32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
