I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
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His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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