have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Shame - the story of my life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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