At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
