her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
