$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
In America we eat man semen.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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