I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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