Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
