K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
