Kiss
Puke
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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