I think my vagina is haunted
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
