I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
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You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.