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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (619): View more from California

  You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad

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• (903): View more from Texas

  making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Either he pets my cat or this deal is null

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• (518): View more from New York

  Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.

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