i would punch a child for taco bell
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize