I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i think my cat just said my name.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November