Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.

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  (781): Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster. http://tfl.nu/zgi0
  Replies (29) Good night (2440) Bad night (777)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters

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  (240): you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters http://tfl.nu/0u7p
  Replies (30) Good night (5294) Bad night (1302)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..

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  (717): currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous.. http://tfl.nu/1hzm
  Replies (9) Good night (4205) Bad night (660)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know what potassium is.

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  (571): You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember? (703): I don't even know what potassium is. http://tfl.nu/wfp6
  Replies (47) Good night (10348) Bad night (1233)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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  (973): well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown http://tfl.nu/5h35
  Replies (14) Good night (917) Bad night (6619)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?

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  (732): Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra? http://tfl.nu/estf
  Replies (10) Good night (2786) Bad night (756)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!

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  (610): Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans! http://tfl.nu/q5t9
  Replies (8) Good night (1764) Bad night (838)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal

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  (440): I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal http://tfl.nu/vouk
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (512)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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  (419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70
  Replies (6) Good night (589) Bad night (1203)
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  (858): View more from California

  Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?

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  (858): Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body? http://tfl.nu/gksx
  Replies (8) Good night (399) Bad night (991)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die

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  (775): Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die http://tfl.nu/wat0
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (336)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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  (574): Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn. http://tfl.nu/7jbp
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (420)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.

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  (206): Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough. http://tfl.nu/xqyf
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (474)
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  (138): View more from

  You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI

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  (138): You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI http://tfl.nu/odjn
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (287)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.

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  (817): I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season. http://tfl.nu/2ovd
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (119)

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