remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im just a social blackout drinker.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?