do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
