Already got asked if we're dating
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog