shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
