he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
