DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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