just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize