You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm getting married
To pizza
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
