My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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