I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
