Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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