So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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