I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
