You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
