hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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