You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
