I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
