somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
