God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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