im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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