She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
