I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
