I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize