why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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