Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
