I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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