No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
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I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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