some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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