remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize