Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
