just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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