omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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