Texts From Last Night

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  (890): View more from

  whats a polygalesbian?

  (728): View more from

  lesbian polygamists..duh.

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  (890): whats a polygalesbian? (728): lesbian polygamists..duh. http://tfl.nu/paij
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (506)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.

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  (850): So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/g8du
  Replies (8) Good night (839) Bad night (2677)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber

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  (630): i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber http://tfl.nu/rpg1
  Replies (21) Good night (647) Bad night (4035)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie

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  (502): He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie http://tfl.nu/8h9i
  Replies (74) Good night (778) Bad night (7082)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.

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  (847): I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware. http://tfl.nu/l9zj
  Replies (13) Good night (1463) Bad night (3896)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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  (267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy
  Replies (37) Good night (8082) Bad night (857)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

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  (+49): Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face http://tfl.nu/4iya
  Replies (26) Good night (11743) Bad night (2028)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.

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  (207): Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me. http://tfl.nu/7so1
  Replies (20) Good night (3029) Bad night (1103)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.

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  (917): Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2kaw
  Replies (12) Good night (1806) Bad night (985)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge

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  (360): i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge http://tfl.nu/hurt
  Replies (6) Good night (1631) Bad night (551)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.

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  (815): One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day. (1-815): Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar. http://tfl.nu/0cqf
  Replies (8) Good night (1289) Bad night (586)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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  (301): Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you. http://tfl.nu/00du
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (650)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (715)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.

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  (828): I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight. http://tfl.nu/6ztd
  Replies (5) Good night (589) Bad night (256)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?

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  (612): The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened? http://tfl.nu/olcd
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (252)

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