Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.