if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts