Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But what if he licks everyones ass?

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  (202): So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking... (203): Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings (202): But what if he licks everyones ass? http://tfl.nu/5mfw
  Replies (11) Good night (881) Bad night (1453)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7661) Bad night (807)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.

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  (262): We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool. http://tfl.nu/01zv
  Replies (25) Good night (7492) Bad night (1021)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog

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  (918): I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog http://tfl.nu/wm03
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (2382)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

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  (360): last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne http://tfl.nu/35hl
  Replies (8) Good night (2345) Bad night (515)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"

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  (617): hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?" http://tfl.nu/pq50
  Replies (14) Good night (3707) Bad night (885)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah he's good at that.

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  (407): I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts. (904): Yeah he's good at that. http://tfl.nu/ekc4
  Replies (5) Good night (815) Bad night (1535)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex

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  (843): i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex http://tfl.nu/fymj
  Replies (8) Good night (2031) Bad night (1132)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.

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  (304): He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex. http://tfl.nu/68r0
  Replies (17) Good night (2599) Bad night (565)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.

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  (423): Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement. http://tfl.nu/2735
  Replies (8) Good night (1569) Bad night (568)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.

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  (443): well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/je7g
  Replies (2) Good night (1756) Bad night (731)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds

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  (317): I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds http://tfl.nu/xjyo
  Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (267)
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  (530): View more from California

  Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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  (530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd
  Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (646)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....

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  (503): I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea..... http://tfl.nu/kqab
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (929)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.

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  (203): She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle. http://tfl.nu/9n9g
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (284)

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