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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woah.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  that's not how you spell hell yes.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.

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• (310): View more from California

  She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL

  (310): View more from California

  so no, not her best night

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.

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