I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
