hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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